Like We Used To
by AmeliaDarkholme
Summary: My heart felt like it was stabbed a thousand times as I realised that I wasn't the one in your life anymore. You had someone else next to you who replaced me. It scared me how your choice hurt me a lot. Maybe, you had more control of me than I did.


**_Like We Used To (credits to A Rocket to the Moon)_**

**I can feel her breath**

**As she's sleeping next to me**

**Sharing pillows and cold feet**

**She can feel my heart**

**Fell asleep to its beat**

**Under blankets and warm sheets**

**If only I could be in that bed again**

**If only it were me instead of him**

"_I love you so much, Ginny."_

"_I love you more, Harry."_

"_I love you most."_

I came back again, just like I did every other night.

I watched you from the side of your bed as you snuggled closer to _him_. It hurt me like hell, seeing you with someone else. What hurt the most was, seeing you looked so contempt with him right now. My heart felt like it was stabbed a thousand times as I realised that I wasn't the one in your life anymore. You had someone else next to you who replaced me. It scared me how your choice hurt me a lot. Maybe, you had more control of me than I could ever will.

I shut my eyes tight, trying to imagine how you felt against me long time ago. How your lips tasted so sweet and your smooth skin caressed mine softly. You were the epitome of beauty. You were perfection. I could never deny that.

But I could never feel all that again. I could never tell you all of that crap again. I could never tell you how I loved you. My sweet and beautiful Ginny... Oh, I could never live without you.

The contraption that you called a celly-thing rang and you groaned. You reached for that phone you just learned to use as you turned around. You answered it with eyes opened half-heartedly

"Hello?" your said. Your eyes flickered right to the spot where I had just been.

But, I was already gone, just like I did every other night.

**Does he watch your favorite movies?**

**Does he hold you when you cry?**

**Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?**

**When you've seen it a million times?**

**Does he sing to all your music?**

**While you dance to Purple Rain?**

**Does he do all these things?**

**Like I used to?**

"Hurry up, Ginny!" he shouted. You ran girlishly toward the couch, the way you always did every time I called for you.

"There," you said, faking a pout. "Now, what are we going to do tonight?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You were the one who said that we're going to watch that thing Muggle called a movie. I'm really interested, actually."

You rolled your eyes but grinned nevertheless. I I felt my dark and hollow world became alive again. "Right, I forgot. I'll get it first, Draco!"

He scowled annoyingly and I tried to stop the urge to strangle him. He was such and arse!

I heard everything you said since the movie started. I could feel your aura lightened the room. It was the most wonderful thing that I had ever felt. He told you some crappy jokes and you laughed. Damn, how I missed that laugh of yours. Even if that Greek God Apollo gave me the chance to hear his so-called music, I'd rather to hear you laughter instead. There was nothing so pure and so perfect like your laugh.

I recognised the movie you both were watching. It was your favourite movie, the Titanic, that you forced me to watch almost every week end. That was the first movie you ever watched and you fell in love with it instantly. You always tried to tell me the story even though you knew I hated that. You were always so emotional all the way the movie started that you cried in my arms though you knew I was annoyed. Still, I laughed every time you did those things I hated. Because, that was the thing I loved about you; your ignorance of my annoyance.

Did he? Did he let you tell him every single part about the movie?

Did he? Did he laughed every time you did that?

Did he do everything I did when I was with you?

"Great movie, right?" you said to him when it was finished. He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I loved it," he answered sincerely.

You took the plate of nugget back to the kitchen. It was the food that we used to eat together – and I was glad you gave introduced to him. As you walked, you hummed the soundtrack of the Titanic movie, a song that I was bored with. But, that song made you happy. So, I was fine with it.

Then, I heard that song was played from the Muggle music player next to him. You smiled and danced toward him. He gave you his hand and you took it. I watched as you both danced in harmony all around the room. Again, my heart felt like being stabbed.

But, if you were happy with him, I didn't mind the slightest bit – even if that made my heart felt like being chopped into pieces.

**Fourteen months and seven days ago**

**Oh, I know you know**

**How we felt about that night**

**Just your skin against the window**

**Oh we took it slow**

**And we both know**

**It should have been me inside that car**

**It should have been me instead of him in the dark**

You were going to some cheap pub with him. A Muggle pub. He bought you your favourite drink and you thanked him. You only had a little, since you didn't want to get drunk. Eventually, seeing him teasing you by shoving that glass under your nose, you finally grabbed that glass from his hand. I chuckled a bit. Ginny, Ginny, Ginny... My little minx.

"Come on, let's go home," you said to him. He nodded and embraced you out of the pub. He opened the door of his expensive car for you and you slid in through the other car. It was his very own car that had nothing to do with magic. He bought it only to please you.

He didn't start the engine but you didn't question him. I saw him sending looks at you, which you ignored easily. You were thinking. I could feel your brain turning inside that red head of yours. We both knew what was gonna happen next.

"Draco... I'm not-"you started but he put his index finger on you lips.

"Sshh... Just go with it, Ginny," he said as he leaned on you.

He started to kiss you right on the lips. At first, I saw you were hesitating. But then, you gave him the permission to enter your small mouth. I felt my eyes widened in terror when I saw the two of you were making love. I opened and closed my mouth, trying to stop whatever you were doing. But, nothing was going out from my mouth. His hands were already touching you everywhere.

"I love you, Draco," you whispered to him.

And I felt my whole world collided.

**I know, Love**

**(I'm a sucker for that feeling)**

**Happens all the time, Love**

**(I always end up feeling cheated)**

**You're on my mind, Love**

**(Oh darling, led her where that leaded)**

**It happens all the time, Love, yeah**

I went away, just like the coward I was. That was the thing I feared; you confessed your love for another man. I was being selfish, yes. But, I could never be a perfect human being. I may have saved the Wizarding World and faced any other danger when I worked as an Auror, but love was the thing that I came to respect and fear of.

Love was the same reason why my parents had died, the same reason had died, the same reason _many _had died.

Love was a gift, but a curse as well.

But, you loved me, nevertheless. You loved me, though you knew I was secretly afraid of love.

For that, I loved you even more thankful.

You loved me when I doubted I would ever found love like my parents did. You loved me and never you walked away from me. You always stayed by my side through anything we had. It wasn't your fault if you met another man and fell in love. It was _my_ fault. I should've been by your side always, like I promised you once.

Maybe, it was time for me to let you go.

I got back to his car, where I found you were cuddling to him like you used to with me. I ignored the cold pang of jealousy. I opened and closed my mouth the way I did before. But, I couldn't make any voice. I was too nervous by the idea of letting you go.

"Ginny?" he said to you.

"Yes, love?" you answered, causing another cold pang stabbed my heart.

"I know it's been hard on you this last two years. But, I couldn't help to feel my feelings for you gone deeper. I love you a lot, Ginny – just like you did. I promise you that I'll try my best to make you the happiest woman ever," he said. You cried and kissed his cheek softly.

"Oh Draco, you've made happy. I've always been happy whenever I'm around you," you said.

He smiled. He took your hand and kissed it gently. "Will you marry me, Ginny?"

Your lips made a smile. A smile that I always loved. "I will, Draco. I will marry you."

**Will he love you like I loved you?**

**Will he tell you every day?**

**Will he make you make you feel like you're invincible**

**With every word he'll say?**

**Can you promise me if this was right,**

**Don't throw this all away?**

**Can you do all these things?**

**Will you do all these things**

**Like we used to?**

"Where are we going, Draco?" you asked him. It was two days before your wedding to him. He was taking you the cemetery. You couldn't help but kept pestering him.

"Just follow me, Ginny," he said. He led you to walk further. I followed you a few paces behind, also wondering where he was going.

Then, he stopped in front of one familiar marble grave stone.

You gasped and soon your eyes were filled in tears.

"Draco, you..." you said but trailed off. You were crying, but because of joy.

"I need to ask _his_ permission before I marry you," he said with a small smile.

You both knelt in front of the grave stone. He cleared his throat and started to talk. "Um, we've never been in good terms before, that I'm aware of. But, I'm here to ask your permission to have Ginny's hand in marriage. She's the most special girl I've ever got the fortune to meet. Yes, that's really pathetic and cliche, I know that, thank you very much. But, I bet that's the thing you always felt about her. So, here I am, talking like mad to a dead person, asking you a permission to marry _our_ girl. The girl that we always loved."

He stopped and glanced at you, who was still crying as you caressed the grave stone. He took a deep breath and grabbed your hand softly. "I promise you that I'll always make her happy. I promise you that I'll try to be as good you as you were, or even better – if you let me. I promise you that I'll give her my everything, including my life. She still loves you and I don't mind. Though I marry her, part of her heart is still yours, _Harry._"

Then he put a small white flower on the grave stone. It was lily, my favourite. Reminded me a lot of the mother I never knew but I always loved. You kissed your finger and stroked the grave stone with that finger, right on the name of the stone.

**Oh, like we used to...**

_In Loving Memory_

_Harry James Potter_

_31 June 1980 – 8 August 2005_

_To Die Will Be A Great Adventure_

"I love you and I will always love you, dear beloved one. May you rest in peace, Harry," you whispered to _my_ grave stone.

Oh Ginny, I am at peace now.

-THE END-

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

If you want me to make a prequel, just tell me about it :)

Thanks for reading and please review!

Amelia


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